Love...Actually?

Its that time of the year again. Everything around me is pink or a slightly less nauseating shade of red. Everything that could have has had its original shape contorted into that of an anatomically incorrect heart. You can run, but you can't hide. If you're one of the few single people on the planet February 14 is a curse that you can neither fight nor escape.

Over the last few years I've tried some different things to battle this horrible day (Yes, I've been single on ALL the Valentine's Days I've survived thus far. Initially it was a battle, which has now evolved into a mere quest for survival). It started in school where veritable score cards were discussed at the end of the day ("X got 3 cards and she didn’t accept any!", "Y gave 4 cards this year"). I was always one of the people discussing these news makers and thought I'd probably figure out this bizarre concept of arbitrarily picking one day of the year to profess your 'love' for some random guy/girl just because Tom, Dick, Harry, X, Y, Z, Chunnu, Munnu, Teena, Meena, Bunty and Babli(I really wanted to name names here, and I mention it so my restraint can be admired by all) were doing it, when I grew up and went to college.

I went to BJMC Ahmedabad and I didn't figure it out. (All fellow BJites give me a "Hell, Yeah!"). In college the numbers for both X and Y came down to one, and I was blessed (or cursed) with a group of friends as nonplussed and incompetent in this department as me (all members of the gang, give me another "Hell, Yeah"). Bottom line, I still didn't get it (the concept and/or a valentine-take your pick).

I've tried going out with my friends, ‘Stag' is I believe the (im)polite word for people like us. What ended up happening was a collective frustration forum ("Dammit.. Look at THAT guy, how’d he end up with THAT girl?????!#@!?##!$" and the like..) I’ve tried staying in all day and studying (Thank you, Gujarat University for conducting the exams in February) but my solace was invaded by radio and the newspapers carrying commercials for lots of places in the city that had special valentine evenings planned for “couples only” which were pinker than Steven Tyler’s new obsession and carried more hearts than my med schools pathology museum. The worst thing a single 20 something year old guy can do on V day though is to go out for dinner with his parents (I know its supposed to celebrate love in all its forms and in all relations, and I love my parents very much, but the heart shaped balloons on the ceilings, soft candlelight and a restaurant full of couples did NOT make for a comfortable environment).

After losing so many battles I have reconciled myself to a life of peaceful coexistence with the devil that is 14th February. (Kudos to the Shiv Sena for continuing the relentless rage. I have, on many occasions considered joining their moral police for this one day of the year but I must admit, burning greeting cards just wont do it for me. Making guys do sit-ups because they were with their partners in a park does promise to be fun though.)

There is actually a variant of 14th Feb that is celebrated by my single brethren, and me and is called ‘Singles Awareness Day’ (Ironically enough its acronym is SAD), which is a humorous and self-deprecatory take on the more conventional celebration of the same date. So to all those who share my views on the subject, I wish you a very Happy SAD.

What makes everybody celebrate Valentines Day? I agree that there’s probably not enough love in this world to go round, but if it’s that realization, lets do it every single day! I guess expressing love, or pretending to express love on a regular basis is just too much of an effort. In that case are the millions of cards Hallmark sold this week, the millions of roses that were plucked for no fault of theirs, the thousands of red heart-shaped soft toys destined to go into a closet for life and the tons of money spent on dinners and gifts symbols of love…actually?

Reality Bites

One of the incredible things about home is that no matter how long you were away, 5 minutes back home will make you feel like you never left! I landed at IGI about a fortnight back and have since spent the most relaxed two weeks ever, making the occasional trip to Delhi from NOIDA(after much procrastination), eagerly lapping up all the soccer and cricket action on TV having missed these like crazy in the US, and meeting up with family and friends.

Needless to say, it feels great to be home. I also think I got back at the right time, else I would have missed all the excitement about Ms Shetty conquering the world and then some(my hearty congratulations to all fellow Indians. We might not win the world cup this year, but we already have Big Brother). I would have missed the furore over Mr President and his Baal Thackeray and the critics universally panning and proclaiming a complete lack of ishq for Nikhil Advani's Salaam. On a more serious note, I would have also missed Manchester United thrashing Spurs 4-0 and Sachin giving a 100 of the best to the hapless West Indians.

Coming back to Big Brother and reality TV, I must say, I really don't get it. Talent hunts seem to have sprouted up exponentially in the six months I was away. Every channel from A to Z(ee) has got one-or more. Every one from Palash Sen to Pooja Bhatt is a judge. Pooja Bhatt judging an acting contest is one of the great ironies of life. Who knows, next we'll probably have Rakhi Sawant playing quiz master(or is it mistress?) on Master Mind India!

This whole business about Big Boss and Big Brother(I know one of them has more g's than the other but I don't bother enough to find out which and how many) left me quite nonplussed as I didn't even know they existed till very recently. The firang version which created a 'rang' controversy that even 3 year olds who can't count know about was apparently intended as a celebrity episode. How Shilpa Shetty could be considered an international celebrity then is also beyond me, not to mention the rest of that motley crowd comprising the Goody, the Bad and the Ugly. The desi version of the same packed in a bunch of dysfuntional(or in some cases, malfunctioning. Right Ms Gracias?) also rans and losers like my favorite 'actress' Ms Sawant(I don't mean Abhijeet), Deepak Tijori and the eventual winner(I am still obstinate in my allusion to him as loser) Rahul Roy. The forced drama, the manipulated results, the crocodile tears are there for all to see, yet there seems to be this perverse streak in a global audience that compels them to not only watch the trials and tribulations of these random people locked in a house, but to also get involved and vote for or against some of them.

I considered adding this whole concept to the list of things I would never understand(Women, Money, Computers...) but i figure this is nowhere near important enough to make it to the list. My only advice to 'Reality TV' people is - Guys, get real.