Ahmedabad rears its head again

I am contemplating a trip in a few days to Ahmedabad, home of my alma mater, to get my clearance from the office, and to hopefully bid a final goodbye to the place that has been home to me for all these years. Hence I caught myself reminiscing on the first couple of years I spent there, and to my surprise I had quite a fair share of fond memories to go with the ones of utter despair.

7 summers ago, I packed up bag and baggage and left for a completely foreign land. I had just got admission into a prestigious med school in Ahmedabad, Gujarat (I didnt think it was prestigious when i left, I was still depressed at not having gotten into a Delhi med school, but it was drummed into me over the subsequent 6 years-I still have trouble accepting the fact).

Nothing could have prepared me for the culture shock that lay ahead. For the first 6 months or so, I was in a perpetual daze. The place, the people, the place, the people, the people, oh, the people...everything drove me nuts (or in my rare lucid moments made me believe that everyone else was nuts)

The first month or two were spent getting myself ragged like anything, although in retrospect i seem to have enjoyed it. There were some really weird seniors in hostel with strange ideas of what constitutes fun. One guy woke me up at 3 am and interrogated me till 5 about Delhi and its surrounding areas."how many districts come under NCR?", and shit like this. When i forgot to mention the place he was from (faridabad),he went ballistic, and reportedly gave me hell. I was too sleepy to notice, but some of my friends told me the next day.

And it wasnt just the people who were already there. There were so many freaks in my batch too. I began to suspect there was a conspiracy to pick out all the weirdos and send them to that college, but the theory instantly collapsed 'cos it was based on the assumption that I was a freak as well.(A large majority of people have been known to be strongly in favor of this hypothesis, but I refuse to accept it)

One of my classmates used to love pretending that he was some sort of politician-cum-freedom fighter. He used to give us long speeches on how we should stand up for our rights and not let ourselves be ragged, and how he could arrange a "tamancha"(pistol) for the 'cause'. Another one spent roughly 80% of the time at home, and how he managed to get through with attendance like that is a mystery to all(It has been alleged that he went and told a professor that he had cancer, and wanted to spend as many of his last days as possible with his family. How a prof at a med school would fall for that is totally beyond me. It has also been alleged that he is married and has a daughter and thats the reason for his frequent and long visits to his hometown). Then there was the chap who virtually lived for porn. (He is reported to have watched 7 back to back porno movies in a single night to celebrate new years'- need i say more?)

The faculty of the college seemed to have its share of quirks too. One day the Head of Anatomy called me as I was leaving for lunch and asked me to lock him in his room, and to unlock him at the end of the break. That is the longest lunch break I ever had, and I had to keep reminding myself every minute, cos if I had forgotten to unlock him, I'd have to wait for him to retire before I could pass Anatomy.

The language and food were things it took me years to come to terms with. The food sucked quite badly. I can never forget the time I went to the mess, after playing an hour of soccer, dreaming of a lavish spread, and our cook (a lady affectionately called "mausi" by everyone else-there was no fondness from my side, our relations were at best strained) presented me with a platter of lauki ki sabji. I could feel the bile rise in my stomach. I controlled my reverse peristalsis and asked her what there was for dessert, and I was offered a bowl full of some green gunk that i thought i'd seen on the soccer pitch few minutes back-"lauki ka halwa". I pretty much ran what i believe is known as the 'gamut of emotions' at that moment. I felt disgust when i saw that thing, awe and amazement at the lengths that life went to in order to piss me off, joy when i realised i was right all along- the world WAS crazy, and dismay when i realised that there was no way on earth that i could possibly eat whatever that was, and would have to go out and hunt for food.

The first few months in any new place are trying, i'm sure, but I was tested to the hilt in Ahmedabad. The things that got me through those dark evenings when i was staring at the prospect of having tinda or lauki ke kofte were some good music, some good reading, my friends who to some extent agreed with me(those evenings were sometimes like war, when we would just sit together for 15 minutes before going to the mess and brace ourselves for the ordeal),and the promise to myself of an ice cream after the "meal".

I had my share of fun in college, although much different from the way i had pictured college before joining(someone should sue bollywood for their depictions of these temples of learning), but I am not looking forward to going back to the scene of the crime(s). Least of all in the heat of June. And I can already feel my gastric mucosa jumping around and looking for a place to hide at the very prospect.